casted shadows in the woods

A Million Dreams - P!NK

crickets are loud in the night, birds sleep in the night, only bats are awake. the sun is down, moon is in its hideout. freezing breeze sending a shiver down my spine and with the mist of sadness blue, the sky turns black. no light visible, stuck in the darkness, fighting demons. never seen sunshine, never saw twinkling stars. only howl of wolves and casted shadows that suck out the courage, alone in this dark void. noise fills the head with fear, trail not to be found again. shadows project my emotions, monsters glare, monsters i know too well. and the air is cold. and the wind brushes my cheek. closespacesmakemeanxious. thank goodness i am outside. the squeezing of my expectations. it reaches me outside as well. pressure in my swinging moods. brought to me today once again by the ghost of my soul. never alright small shrinking. my thoughts are racing so fast, mind cannot articulate, bear loneliness. false smiles, laugh loudly to fill up the silence, eats whole chunks into my day, hold up a light to see the remaining sanity. no amout of consumption can ever alter this terrible thing. and i falter, sometimes. continue existing, get jobs done, still, on the whole, work fine. missing parts though, that nobody notices. he stands near the trees, a hand upon them and feels their dying breath. a final sigh and the leaves wrinkle, blanket on the forest floor. wind will scatter him like the leaves, blow us far from home.

11. november 2018